Isn’t it handy altogether that the first day of the new year is a Wednesday, and thus perfectly timed for a wellbeing update? It’s long overdue, I know, so let me jump right in.
Life has kind of gotten quite busy of late – I’ve a job now, which I love, but it’s based around mental health, which makes it even more crucial that I mind my own mental health, and I’ve been so consumed with getting settled in, I’ll admit I haven’t really been paying as much attention to it as I should. I mean, I’ve not neglected it per se, but I’ve probably been lucky that it’s been smooth enough sailing for the past few months.
I had a re-assessment this year, because I wasn’t sure about my diagnosis, and with my job I’d had to stop going to the therapist I was seeing. That’s helped, and I’m happy we’ve found a balance with my medication in terms of having not so much that the side effects hit me badly (the first few months of this year I really struggled with that – vertigo is zero fun), and enough that I can manage life on a day-to-day basis. I still feel anxious and down a fair bit of the time, but thankfully I don’t have many panic attacks at all, and I can do life, which is good enough for me.
I do think I could do better with my self-care – I haven’t gotten back to much exercise since I broke my elbow last year, and I really need to, for physical and mental wellbeing. I think getting back into blogging is a good move too – having a place to write, particularly about my mental health will be a good check-in with what I’m working at now. Now that I have a routine around work, I want to build other routines around that, too – self-care and fun things often get dropped by the wayside when I’m busy so I think forward planning and giving those kinds of things the same kinds of priorities as I would a class or a meeting should help make sure I include them in my life more.
It’s funny, everyone on social media is sharing photos and highlight reels of the past decade. I wouldn’t be the kind of person to do either, and this decade in particular really chewed me up and spat me out more than once. Negative bias (the tendency for our brains to remember and dwell on negative things more than positive ones) would have me remember those times only, but in reality, there have been many good times too.
I got a degree, one full masters and 95% of another one (I should be graduating early next year). I moved out of home, and moved back in. I traveled. I learned a lot about myself, and while I’m not there yet, I’m learning to accept myself. I built relationships and formed new ones. I learned many new skills. I had multiple jobs and other academic experiences that will stand to me forever.
I haven’t done a lot that I thought I might have done, but what matters most I guess is that I didn’t give up, even though I came so close at times, and because I didn’t give up, every day is another chance for me to try and do those things. I think that’s why for me, while I reflect on New Year’s Eve, it doesn’t feel that momentous, and I don’t make resolutions – every day is a chance to start new, and that is more than enough for me. Putting all that pressure on one out of every 365 days feels like too much, and I’ve learned that it’s ok for me (and anyone else) to feel that way about it.
What about you? Are you a ‘new year, new me’ kind of person, or do you think a bit more like me? I’d really love to hear about it!